underconstruction
Oh so excited here! My website, roxycross.com is under construction and will launch shortly! You’ll be able to order baskets and planter boxes to create your own fabulous flower and food growing projects, like I have shown you on my youtube channel! It will answer questions about theta energy therapy and The Listening Program and other things that help me tremendously in my own life! Oh so excited!!! Stay tuned Peeps!
Ya know, there are just some days, ya think it isn’t worth it, to get out of bed. I had one of those days in 1974. I remember taking a black Sharpie marker to the entire square on my calendar and blacking it out. I announced to my college roommate, at BYU, that this day had not existed for me. Of course, you notice where I was going to school at the time, uh hmm… I didn’t fit in.
Then I have another half day in 1986, that I wished I could erase, when my husband brought peed-on, Mediterranean living room furniture, into the house, announcing, (heavy, dark Naugahyde), that we were trading said furniture for me babysitting a niece and nephew, all summer. On top of my own 5 boys, in a city we had moved t, the night before. Oi.
I would like to mention that the morning of that day, I remember as the one morning in my life, I felt happy and peaceful and full of hope for my future. Shot to hell. Nothing like feeling like a drudge while the man you love disrespects you. No discussion. Just an announcement. (Made it fun for all the kids that summer, but that isn’t the point here.)
So yesterday, was a Monday I hear people talk about. And Mondays have never bothered me, til yesterday. What a doosey. I am still reeling and praying and pulling out the Al Anon literature and (obviously) writing and listening to album 3 of TLP® for the bazillionth time, cuz that’s what I listen to when I don’t feel good… sensory integration…
And we shall see what eventually shakes down, because I am on a freakin’ roller coaster, that makes no damn sense to me, whatsoever. If this is my higher power’s idea of what my life should look like then I would like to say, “I’m not just a cheesy grin with cleavage here! I have feelings. And this sux.”
And I’ll be in a chair at my 7:15pm Al Anon home group tonight, cuz I need my Al Anon Family. Geez. Us.
I loved words. I love to sing them and speak them and even now, I must admit, I have fallen into the joy of writing them.— Anne Rice
The things that matter. Memories matter. How often do we look at photos, mementos videos of good times. Thought I would share some things that continue to touch my heart. Like this video of my daughter Danica and her friend Ashlynn practicing a beautiful song for the middle school talent show. Now the girls are juniors in high school and even more beautiful and skilled in their art of singing, but back in the purple bedroom this is what they sang…
Then if that wasn’t enough we noticed little Matthew was learning the song too! So of course we kept tying to get him to sing it! And other songs like this one with Uncle Alex and Grandma. We love to train the next generation of performers! You should see Alex and Emily’s son Jaymeson play the drums! Wish I could find that video!
Then there are the videos of Tegan and Danica singing and expressing their hearts through music! There are so many more that may only be important to me, but they are important to me and that is the point. I’m saving them so no matter where my kids and grandkids go, doing what, here is a bit of the beginnings of where they were.
Now trying to get the family all in one spot for a family portrait is about impossible. First it is such a challenge to get everyone in one town, then to get them all to look at the camera without crazy things things going on is about impossibler! Here is the last time the clan got together, Alex and Emily’s wedding 2 years ago.
There are many more on my Facebook page. Go to Photos and click on the videos and you’ll see the little collection of treasures saved there. Here Josh play guitar while sibs and cousins and friends sing. Hear my dad share stories shortly before he left the planet. And of course the almost 9 minute video of trying to get a family portrait for Mothers Day one year. My family is ridiculous and I love them all!
If we aren’t connected on Facebook, I’m Roxy Cross in Santa Cruz CA. The older Roxy Cross in Santa Cruz! Pop in and I’ll add you!
Love in a Cup!
Thanks to my dear friend Mari Jo Mundahl I found a blog I love! Here is Karl Saltier‘s Ode to Coffee. Enjoy!
Junior High Graduation
The summer of 5th grade I read books sitting in a crab apple tree, snacking on said crab apples and tossing them willy nilly at unsuspecting pedestrians. And I wore the same denim shorts and butter colored cotton knit sweater everyday. The sweater was a hand-me-down from a neighbor and I loved it. Mom washed it every night and I stood in the laundry room watching it go round and round through the dryer door window. I was an awesome kid for a mother who was a model and fashion designer!!!!! Not! #trueconfessions Posted this picture from my junior high graduation because I designed and made this lovely flocked frock with stand-up lace! My shoes were pearlized yellow leather slingbacks and it cost $6 to have all my hair pinned up like that!
Months before I married and started my family
I’ll go back and talk about Steps 2-7 in Al Anon at some point. I wrote about Step 1, when I was working on it, but then I got busy working all the other steps and haven’t paused to share again until now. And that is because I hit a brick wall and I’m pretty sure, if you are reading this, you do the same damn thing.
The 8th Step in Al Anon is: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Now if you think about this even for a moment odds are you will think of someone. Someone you did something to or hurt in some way and it still bothers you. You may think of all kinds of things, from what you could do to attempt to repair the relationship or say you are sorry or come up with reasons why you don’t need to, like they don’t deserve it and things like that. Yes, I know that was a run-on sentence. Thanks.
So I’m making my list of people I have harmed and so far it isn’t as long as I thought it would be. There is something entirely disturbing that keeps coming up. I have consistently, for as far back as I can remember, done things to harm the same person over and over. Me.
So I’ll make living amends to myself to take better care of myself, love myself and not put myself in harms way any more even to help others. I will honor all that I have attempted to do and actually have accomplished in my life. I have always done the best I could with what I had and who I was at the time and that is just plain good enough.
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