underconstruction

Oh so excited here! My website, roxycross.com is under construction and will launch shortly! You’ll be able to order baskets and planter boxes to create your own fabulous flower and food growing projects, like I have shown you on my youtube channel! It will answer questions about theta energy therapy and The Listening Program and other things that help me tremendously in my own life! Oh so excited!!! Stay tuned Peeps!

Then I have another half day in 1986, that I wished I could erase, when my husband brought peed-on, Mediterranean living room furniture, into the house, announcing, (heavy, dark Naugahyde), that we were trading said furniture for me babysitting a niece and nephew, all summer. On top of my own 5 boys, in a city we had moved t, the night before. Oi.

I would like to mention that the morning of that day, I remember as the one morning in my life, I felt happy and peaceful and full of hope for my future. Shot to hell. Nothing like feeling like a drudge while the man you love disrespects you. No discussion. Just an announcement. (Made it fun for all the kids that summer, but that isn’t the point here.)

So yesterday, was a Monday I hear people talk about. And Mondays have never bothered me, til yesterday. What a doosey. I am still reeling and praying and pulling out the Al Anon literature and (obviously) writing and listening to album 3 of TLP®  for the bazillionth time, cuz that’s what I listen to when I don’t feel good… sensory integration…

And we shall see what eventually shakes down, because I am on a freakin’ roller coaster, that makes no damn sense to me, whatsoever. If this is my higher power’s idea of what my life should look like then I would like to say, “I’m not just a cheesy grin with cleavage here! I have feelings. And this sux.”

And I’ll be in a chair at my 7:15pm Al Anon home group tonight, cuz I need my Al Anon Family. Geez. Us.

Then if that wasn’t enough we noticed little Matthew was learning the song too! So of course we kept tying to get him to sing it! And other songs like this one with Uncle Alex and Grandma. We love to train the next generation of performers! You should see Alex and Emily’s son Jaymeson play the drums! Wish I could find that video!

Then there are the videos of Tegan and Danica singing and expressing their hearts through music! There are so many more that may only be important to me, but they are important to me and that is the point. I’m saving them so no matter where my kids and grandkids go, doing what, here is a bit of the beginnings of where they were.

Now trying to get the family all in one spot for a family portrait is about impossible. First it is such a challenge to get everyone in one town, then to get them all to look at the camera without crazy things things going on is about impossibler! Here is the last time the clan got together, Alex and Emily’s wedding 2 years ago.

There are many more on my Facebook page. Go to Photos and click on the videos and you’ll see the little collection of treasures saved there. Here Josh play guitar while sibs and cousins and friends sing. Hear my dad share stories shortly before he left the planet. And of course the almost 9 minute video of trying to get a family portrait for Mothers Day one year. My family is ridiculous and I love them all!

If we aren’t connected on Facebook, I’m Roxy Cross in Santa Cruz CA. The older Roxy Cross in Santa Cruz! Pop in and I’ll add you!

Love in a Cup!

Thanks to my dear friend Mari Jo Mundahl I found a blog I love! Here is Karl Saltier‘s Ode to Coffee. Enjoy!

Junior High Graduation

The summer of 5th grade I read books sitting in a crab apple tree, snacking on said crab apples and tossing them willy nilly at unsuspecting pedestrians. And I wore the same denim shorts and butter colored cotton knit sweater everyday. The sweater was a hand-me-down from a neighbor and I loved it. Mom washed it every night and I stood in the laundry room watching it go round and round through the dryer door window. I was an awesome kid for a mother who was a model and fashion designer!!!!! Not! #trueconfessions Posted this picture from my junior high graduation because I designed and made this lovely flocked frock with stand-up lace! My shoes were pearlized yellow leather slingbacks and it cost $6 to have all my hair pinned up like that!

Months before I married and started my family

I’ll go back and talk about Steps 2-7 in Al Anon at some point. I wrote about Step 1, when I was working on it, but then I got busy working all the other steps and haven’t paused to share again until now. And that is because I hit a brick wall and I’m pretty sure, if you are reading this, you do the same damn thing.

The 8th Step in Al Anon is: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Now if you think about this even for a moment odds are you will think of someone. Someone you did something to or hurt in some way and it still bothers you. You may think of all kinds of things, from what you could do to attempt to repair the relationship or say you are sorry or come up with reasons why you don’t need to, like they don’t deserve it and things like that. Yes, I know that was a run-on sentence. Thanks.

So I’m making my list of people I have harmed and so far it isn’t as long as I thought it would be. There is something entirely disturbing that keeps coming up. I have consistently, for as far back as I can remember, done things to harm the same person over and over. Me.

So I’ll make living amends to myself to take better care of myself, love myself and not put myself in harms way any more even to help others. I will honor all that I have attempted to do and actually have accomplished in my life. I have always done the best I could with what I had and who I was at the time and that is just plain good enough.

2012 Welcome!

Sure heard a lot of people talking about how tough 2011 was for them. Seems like a positive attitude about 2012 might be a grand idea! Looking ahead there are things I would like to add to my life in 2012. I may already have some of these things, but more can’t hurt and the things that seem to be missing and jump on the Roxy boat ASAP!

I would like to spend more quality time with the people I love. Laugh more, kiss more, hug more, share more! I would like to feel loved, accepted and appreciated. I would like to feel I make a positive difference in the lives of those I come in contact with from servers in a restaurant to the people I cherish in my life.

I would like to continue learning and improving myself as a person. I would like to inspire others to do likewise as they see things working for me in my life. I would like to mind my own life better, appreciate my physical body just the way it is, be happy with the woman I have become. I would like to learn from my past, enjoy and be present in my present and welcome the future with joy!

Financial stability would be a plus in 2012, as would nesting into my own home while enveloping it in gardens with fabulous baskets and planters.

While I’m making my list, I must include world peace which starts with me. How I live my life with love, understanding, acceptance and serenity, effecting those around me who effect those around them and so on. Concentric circles of peace, melding into a planet filled with love in 2012, the Year of the Peacemaker!

Where is their title meta data on their home page?

When you pay a web designer the big bucks, for a fabulous website, with lots of color and pictures and videos and your company name in a beautiful logo splashed with cool graphics it is just lovely. It looks good and makes you all warm and fuzzy inside. Unfortunately, if your website has not been properly optimized, odds are no one is going to see it.

In this home page for Wells Fargo, the meta data is correct. It will drive traffic because the web crawlers will find it and like it. Easy. As long as they have done other things too. Unfortunately their meta data on title is missing.

<meta name=”description” content=”Wells Fargo is a provider of banking, mortgage, investing, credit card, insurance, and consumer and commercial financial services.” />
<meta name=”keywords” content=”checking accounts, savings accounts, student loans, personal loans, investments, online banking, auto loans, home loans” />

That may sound extra ridiculously crazy but it is true. Conditions on the web are so odd now; you can sometimes type in the exact URL or web address for a specific website and still not find it. The search engine optimization world is so specific now, your website must be optimized correctly or all your other efforts are for naught.

Odds are also good that your creative web designer is not a search engine optimization (SEO) expert.  Creating websites and optimizing websites are two different knowledge and software skill sets.  SEO is a field that changes constantly and extremely fast which involves math calculations far too complex for mere humans unless said humans have specialized software to compute.

Expecting creative, talented graphic artists who are focused primarily on the look and coding of web design to also stay abreast of the latest Google algorithm is silly and unrealistic.  It may come as a nasty surprise, when those beautiful elements of their creative website design have to be redone adding costs when SEO is done as a late addition rather than from the very beginning.

Doing the Best I Can

Here is something I will ponder and write about again at some point, that you may appreciate. My friend Melinda Zito O’Brien was reading about Jonah and had an epiphany about a message in that story she shared with me. She said God told Jonah to do something he did not want to do, so the whale swallowed him up and spit him out where God wanted him to be, to do what God wanted him to do. Now I have heard a whale swallowing a man like that, is impossible and I don’t really care because real or myth, the point is in the principle lesson. When we have a life path and are open to being guided to be where God wants us, doing what God wants us to do, things may not make sense until later, in retrospect.

Melinda said in being open to living a life of unexpected twists and turns allows God to work through us easily. God is busy and those of us willing and able to be there for things of which we have no clue at the time, live disrupted yet spiritual lives. She said she does not know anyone more willing to live a disrupted life than me and she may be right. In living a disrupted life, I am in position to be where I am needed.

It gave me clarity as people ask me why did I move here to Santa Cruz and the only honest answer is I knew God wanted me to. I was fine where I was. I had money in the bank, loved my home, really loved my home. My job met our needs and then some. I was ahead of the game a little bit. And one February day, looking out my window, I knew it was time to go to California and I have no real reason to invent that. It was compelling and I immediately made plans and made it happen and God smoothed the way. I resigned from my job without incident and even got money back on my house, when I broke the lease!!! We hit the only window of decent weather to drive through Donner’s Pass pulling a trailer that month!

I may not know the big reason I am here in Santa Cruz CA, but lots of little ones are evident. Personally, I have had the time to grieve the loss of my parents and my marriage and situations with my kids and grandkids and others I love. I never had time to grieve before. I have had time to look over my life and honor myself for my efforts and progress on my life path. I’ve had time to consider what I want to do with the rest of my life and where to do it and with whom. And I don’t have to decide right now as I can go with the flow and see where it takes me, too.

Monday I am starting a position with a specialized tooling and machining company in Santa Clara, an hour north of here. How random is that? I’m being trained to run the company so an owner can retire! Random! All based on one chance meeting. Random! I will be able to support myself and live where I want and get my truck fixed. I don’t know how it will all work out, but I do know something bigger than me is at work in my life and will provide! My housing is taken care of for 3 months and other financial responsibilities are working out. Does it not appear to you that I am being cared for and protected by a power bigger than myself, because it sure looks like it to me!

I share a lot of my life, fairly transparently, but I don’t normally share stuff like this. Maybe you needed to hear it for your own life path. I thought I would be married forever to a great guy, raise a beautiful family and take care of a house. I do have a beautiful family, that is for sure! But I had no idea the abject fear I would live with daily and the hard work it would take to pull that off. I had no idea how alone I would feel on this rock. I have tools through Al Anon I did not have before, that have given me space to breathe and methods to get through tough things and I can live in faith again; faith I lost a long time ago.

If you too, are brave, tenacious, and courageous, maybe it is time to consider who/what you are devoted to and make sure your heart sings because of it. It may be you are and always have been right where you need to be. Great blessing! If not, the disrupted life is not so bad when the dust settles and you feel good about yourself knowing you almost, always, did the best you could, with what you had to work with at the time, considering who you were at said time!

If so I send you my experience, strength and hope on the journey of your life path. Happy Birthday to Me! The best gift is one I give to you of love, joy and the very best life has to offer you, my friend! Namaste’ Roxy Cross