So the first 4 weeks of listening to The Listening Program went by fast and were quite enjoyable. I noticed an improvement in sleeping. I still don’t sleep through the night, but when I fall asleep, I sleep in a deeper state. I also noticed I am calmer and that is a huge bonus.
The problem is sometime in week 5 or 6 I came unglued at the seams. My provider warned me he thought I would have things rise up to the surface and asked me if I had someone I could talk to when they did. I assured him I did, as I had a great friend in mind. However, she hit a rough patch in life herself and I didn’t want to add to her current burdens and knew I couldn’t chat with her. So what then?
I went to a counselor. Then I went to another counselor and I like her alot. She is a no nonsense type which is perfect for an intelligent woman of my age. First visit I broke down and cried, as I have been doing for 3weeks now. Tears are always just under the surface and errupting at the least little thing. Can not believe the big and little memories bubbling up.
There is a big hole in my memory. I’m missing people’s names and my connections to them from when I lived in Vernal UT years ago. Now they are flooding back along with stuff I forgot for good reasons! Like getting punched by my husband in my sleep. Nice one to deal with. Like myriads of ridiculous living situations I allowed myself and my children to live in. So as these things come up I’m also looking at my current life conditions and finding many of them unexceptable too. This has thrown me into a huge life evaluation mode and perhaps it was about time. I have not stopped listening though. I will do this for myself, as after all the things I have been through in my life, I deserve to have some peace and enjoy consistent happiness. Doesn’t everyone?!