I’m reading The Female Brain by Dr Louann Brizendine, at the recommendation of a male friend, David. Of course I’m reading it! And when I am finished, I will swap books with my friend, Susan, who is reading The Male Brain, that I purchased at the same time. Working with the brain and music-based frequency programs, with www.advancedbrain.com every day, has drawn me to learn all I can about this fascinating, morphing matter inside our sculls.
I have to share some insights from my reading so far. (One of our ABT Providers pointed out I’m an associative learner, meaning when I take in information I relate it to something I know, have experienced or suspected to complete the learning cycle on that piece of a subject. I found that rather cool!) Right on page 11 in The Female Brain, the doctor relates a story about a little girl happily playing on a playground with her little girl friends, when her little boy cousin and friends show up. Leila was always delighted to see Joseph at first and would run up and greet him in her young, language still developing way! Joseph and his friends would join the girls at Leila’s invitation and start taking the girl’s toys they were using to play house. The boys would use them to build rockets and such. The boys would purposefully ruin what the girls had designed and built. Then the boys would get rough with the girls, refuse to play nicely, stop what they were doing or return the girls toys. By the end of the playtime, the girls would retreat to another part of the playground to play house quietly, by themselves, with what toys they still had.
It occurs to me this is the same phenomenon I see with my circle of girlfriends/womenfriends, now, mid-life. In the last 5 years I noticed almost all of my female friends are single. We are divorced or some have never married, and of those of us who are divorced, many have been, for quite some time. I’ve been divorced for 9 years.
My circle of girlfriends live all over the country, are successful in various chose fields, involved in community and with families and supportive of their girlfriends. We stay in touch and truly care about each other. It’s a beautiful thing that gives me great strength and makes me feel needed!
When we talk about being single and what are choices are in potential partners, we don’t see much choice available. It does appear, that the groovy ones are married. I joke, that when we skip across the top of the gene pool, there aren’t many here to play with! So our friendships with each other, become even more important, the older we get. And we gather the newly released girls in, to give the feminine support, so critical, to moving through, and past, and beyond divorce.
The fact is though; we are single, living in our own places, by choice. It is peaceful this way. No male energy to destroy our gentle ways. No bluster, unnecessary noise, racket, stomping around, bull in the china shop, or hurtful silent treatment crap to deal with! Home life can be an explosion of colors, scents, music, laughter, conversation shared, with delight!
Life is gentler, kinder, and sweeter. My womenfriends are affectionate. We read emotions on faces and are quick to react with a laugh, a word of encouragement and a tissue. We know a shared glass of wine is almost always appropriate. We are kindly, honest about our kids, man and troubles in life. We love our friends as they are our biggest supporters.