One of the things, I continue to notice, about the emotional healing process I am going through, is the significance, of the memories bubbling up to the surface. I think they have value.
I hear I am an associative learner. When you share something with me, I relate it to something I have experienced or seen, share it with you, creating a circle of learning for me. Not everyone is an associative learner. Some people, who are not, think this process is I go through is selfish and that I only like to talk about myself. That is rather harsh as it isn’t my intent at all! In fact, the whole purpose for being transparent on this blog is to inspire others to try things and to find hope and to not feel like they are all alone on the planet in their misery! I care! That’s why I share!
So anyway… I’m wearing the ring in the picture today. It is malachite, in sterling silver. I first saw it in a custom jewelry shop in Vernal UT about 12 years ago. It didn’t look anything like the fabulous designs in the shop. Gorgeous rings and earrings, fabulous bracelets and necklaces and other very interesting designs. I eventually had a few pieces of Randy Fullbright’s work and I also got to wear them, on stage, emceeing events!
This is a link to his website, but there are no pieces of jewelry on it. He has won international awards for his work. He studied the Japanese metal technique of mokamaygane, or atleast that’s how I remember it sounding!
At the time of my first of many visits to Randy’s shop, I really wanted to do something nice for myself. Perhaps I was drawn in part to this particular ring, because it’s price was only $75. I didn’t have $75 to splurge on myself, but I felt it was important to have something to look forward to, so I arranged to put money down and make payments until I could take it for my very own.
It took me weeks, bringing in $10 or 15 dollars when I could. I had just left a marriage of 23 years, had 6 kids and myself in a 2 bedroom house, was going to college full time and making $1800 a month to support us all. Pretty oddly miraculous time. My kids still talk about living in the little pink house as the best time of their lives! What I went through then, I went through alone. I didn’t have a support system. I just kept going. Part of what I needed was something pretty, to remind me I was a woman. I wanted the butterfly ring.
I never went out to eat, or grabbed lattes or bought anything frivolous. I ate one meal a day, or nothing and saved the money.
The day I picked up the ring, Randy’s wife was in the shop and told the story of where it came from. “One night when Randy couldn’t sleep, he got up and made that ring. When I saw it in the morning I told he he could not make any more jewelry in the night. It is hideous!” I looked down at in on my forefinger and loved it! It reminded me of an avant garde butterfly and still does! It reminds me now, of what I have been through in life, and that I continue to see beauty where others do not!