The experience of blowing out my radiator or whatever awful thing happened and depending on generous strangers, my roadside assistance through Liberty Mutual, Park City Tow and my son Stephan, took it’s toll. You would think, it wasn’t so bad, to be stranded at a 5 star resort. None of us got hurt. We were only frightened. And people did come to my aid. Strangers gave us a ride from Parley’s Summit, back to Westgates, which was very kind. People at Westgates were touched by our experience and predicament. A manager put $100 of his own money in to help us upgrade to a larger suite, which was very, very nice. We love having more space to enjoy this beautiful place.
I came back with every intention of listening to one of the Sensory Integration albums in The Listening Program. I put album 4 in my cd player, plugged everything and sat down to relax, recover and rejuvenate but it buzzed and died. I’m thinking at this point, I should touch anything. Everything I touch is dying today. I just sat there with the headphones on, in my muffled baffledom for awhile. It was not the therapy I intended but for a moment, I sat there, considering my situation and the unknown and then I lost it. I started crying again and just could not stop.
I wonder just how much unhappiness could be inside me to let go of my emotions and cry so hard for so long. I thought about my last relationship and the disappointment of not being able to make it work. I thought about financial stresses, troubles my kids are going through, how behind I am in school and what was I going to do about my lack of a functional vehicle so far from home… and spiralled downward.
I was so disappointed that I couldn’t listen to TLP, as I have grown to depend on the calming, balancing effect it has on me. Stupid batteries…