For serenity in life, there is nothing like having a clear conscience! Or as clear as you can get yours!
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
I did this step work in Utah, with my sponsor Cory learning a few things. First of all I learned that I really had to have caused harm to make amends. for example, I couldn’t just decide I had screwed up all my kids and they were in need of me making amends to them! Well I thought that. There were specific incidents that I did have to look at and this was a good, cleansing exercise for me.
There was an issue from 25 years ago that was a legitimate thing to make amends about. The problem was it could have caused undo harm to myself, likely and that is not encouraged in this process. Cory suggested I make a living amends. I donated money to the Alateen program in Ogden UT and in Santa Cruz CA. It felt cleansing to do something positive about something I had felt guilty about for decades.
Note: Normally I donate and give gifts anonymously. I only share here, in transparency, to demonstrate the active working of Step 9.
It was also good to look at that incident to see if I learned my lesson or if I had continued to make sketchy choices that hurt me and others.
This is also something I work on throughout each week. I no longer believe apologies are valuable. To make up for poor choices that affect others, I believe amends are the best way to go. Amends are active and show an effort to change incorrect behaviors.
I had a list to work with initially but quickly came up with a plan of things I could do, which included written, verbal and active efforts.
One thing I have to mention is in making amends, I take things into consideration to make sure my amends aren’t going to make things worse. I consider the other person’s anonymity, their well-being, time and place so they are less uncomfortable and things that will hopefully make this a healing experience.
There are people I will not approach and for these instances, I work on not repeating my mistakes, keeping a more positive healing attitude and send them love and light and good chi…
I also look over my list occasionally to see if there is anything I can do to improve any situations. Today I feel good that I am on a path of healing for myself and those around me. I send good chi to you and others in a path of oneness, love and light… Namaste’ my friend.