Happy Birthday to Me: Final Edition 01242012


Doing the Best I Can

Here is something I will ponder and write about again at some point, that you may appreciate. My friend Melinda Zito O’Brien was reading about Jonah and had an epiphany about a message in that story she shared with me. She said God told Jonah to do something he did not want to do, so the whale swallowed him up and spit him out where God wanted him to be, to do what God wanted him to do. Now I have heard a whale swallowing a man like that, is impossible and I don’t really care because real or myth, the point is in the principle lesson. When we have a life path and are open to being guided to be where God wants us, doing what God wants us to do, things may not make sense until later, in retrospect.

Melinda said in being open to living a life of unexpected twists and turns allows God to work through us easily. God is busy and those of us willing and able to be there for things of which we have no clue at the time, live disrupted yet spiritual lives. She said she does not know anyone more willing to live a disrupted life than me and she may be right. In living a disrupted life, I am in position to be where I am needed.

It gave me clarity as people ask me why did I move here to Santa Cruz and the only honest answer is I knew God wanted me to. I was fine where I was. I had money in the bank, loved my home, really loved my home. My job met our needs and then some. I was ahead of the game a little bit. And one February day, looking out my window, I knew it was time to go to California and I have no real reason to invent that. It was compelling and I immediately made plans and made it happen and God smoothed the way. I resigned from my job without incident and even got money back on my house, when I broke the lease!!! We hit the only window of decent weather to drive through Donner’s Pass pulling a trailer that month!

I may not know the big reason I am here in Santa Cruz CA, but lots of little ones are evident. Personally, I have had the time to grieve the loss of my parents and my marriage and situations with my kids and grandkids and others I love. I never had time to grieve before. I have had time to look over my life and honor myself for my efforts and progress on my life path. I’ve had time to consider what I want to do with the rest of my life and where to do it and with whom. And I don’t have to decide right now as I can go with the flow and see where it takes me, too.

Monday I am starting a position with a specialized tooling and machining company in Santa Clara, an hour north of here. How random is that? I’m being trained to run the company so an owner can retire! Random! All based on one chance meeting. Random! I will be able to support myself and live where I want and get my truck fixed. I don’t know how it will all work out, but I do know something bigger than me is at work in my life and will provide! My housing is taken care of for 3 months and other financial responsibilities are working out. Does it not appear to you that I am being cared for and protected by a power bigger than myself, because it sure looks like it to me!

I share a lot of my life, fairly transparently, but I don’t normally share stuff like this. Maybe you needed to hear it for your own life path. I thought I would be married forever to a great guy, raise a beautiful family and take care of a house. I do have a beautiful family, that is for sure! But I had no idea the abject fear I would live with daily and the hard work it would take to pull that off. I had no idea how alone I would feel on this rock. I have tools through Al Anon I did not have before, that have given me space to breathe and methods to get through tough things and I can live in faith again; faith I lost a long time ago.

If you too, are brave, tenacious, and courageous, maybe it is time to consider who/what you are devoted to and make sure your heart sings because of it. It may be you are and always have been right where you need to be. Great blessing! If not, the disrupted life is not so bad when the dust settles and you feel good about yourself knowing you almost, always, did the best you could, with what you had to work with at the time, considering who you were at said time!

If so I send you my experience, strength and hope on the journey of your life path. Happy Birthday to Me! The best gift is one I give to you of love, joy and the very best life has to offer you, my friend! Namaste’ Roxy Cross


About roxycross

Make a difference in your neighborhood! Check out www.roxycross.com. Namaste'
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One Response to Happy Birthday to Me: Final Edition 01242012

  1. colleendown says:

    I love hearing of other’s experiences–thanks for sharing yours. I also love “words” especially those that say what I can’t quite explain–today’s word “disrupted” is perfect. I will use that more. It will be interesting to hear your experiences with the new job–good luck in all you do.

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