I’ll go back and talk about Steps 2-7 in Al Anon at some point. I wrote about Step 1, when I was working on it, but then I got busy working all the other steps and haven’t paused to share again until now. And that is because I hit a brick wall and I’m pretty sure, if you are reading this, you do the same damn thing.
The 8th Step in Al Anon is: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Now if you think about this even for a moment odds are you will think of someone. Someone you did something to or hurt in some way and it still bothers you. You may think of all kinds of things, from what you could do to attempt to repair the relationship or say you are sorry or come up with reasons why you don’t need to, like they don’t deserve it and things like that. Yes, I know that was a run-on sentence. Thanks.
So I’m making my list of people I have harmed and so far it isn’t as long as I thought it would be. There is something entirely disturbing that keeps coming up. I have consistently, for as far back as I can remember, done things to harm the same person over and over. Me.
So I’ll make living amends to myself to take better care of myself, love myself and not put myself in harms way any more even to help others. I will honor all that I have attempted to do and actually have accomplished in my life. I have always done the best I could with what I had and who I was at the time and that is just plain good enough.