Ya know, there are just some days, ya think it isn’t worth it, to get out of bed. I had one of those days in 1974. I remember taking a black Sharpie marker to the entire square on my calendar and blacking it out. I announced to my college roommate, at BYU, that this day had not existed for me. Of course, you notice where I was going to school at the time, uh hmm… I didn’t fit in.
Then I have another half day in 1986, that I wished I could erase, when my husband brought peed-on, Mediterranean living room furniture, into the house, announcing, (heavy, dark Naugahyde), that we were trading said furniture for me babysitting a niece and nephew, all summer. On top of my own 5 boys, in a city we had moved t, the night before. Oi.
I would like to mention that the morning of that day, I remember as the one morning in my life, I felt happy and peaceful and full of hope for my future. Shot to hell. Nothing like feeling like a drudge while the man you love disrespects you. No discussion. Just an announcement. (Made it fun for all the kids that summer, but that isn’t the point here.)
So yesterday, was a Monday I hear people talk about. And Mondays have never bothered me, til yesterday. What a doosey. I am still reeling and praying and pulling out the Al Anon literature and (obviously) writing and listening to album 3 of TLP® for the bazillionth time, cuz that’s what I listen to when I don’t feel good… sensory integration…
And we shall see what eventually shakes down, because I am on a freakin’ roller coaster, that makes no damn sense to me, whatsoever. If this is my higher power’s idea of what my life should look like then I would like to say, “I’m not just a cheesy grin with cleavage here! I have feelings. And this sux.”
And I’ll be in a chair at my 7:15pm Al Anon home group tonight, cuz I need my Al Anon Family. Geez. Us.