So one of my last blog posts was the tip of an angst-ridden, sorrowful, grieving moment among a few weeks of like moments, when my heart is so sad for the loss of dear people, and things in my life, watching those I love suffer, and the fear of the unknown future. Not a pretty combination. All the while, I am twisting in the wind, I am very aware that I have so much to be grateful for at the same time. And one does not cancel out the other.
I am living in this beautiful home where I can cook in a wonderful kitchen, eat on a deck surrounded by gorgeous scenery, I have life-time friends close by and in far-flung areas of the planet who are reachable when I want them due to the gift of technology, I can rest, recuperate, stretch and grow, grieve and write, work and play and I have no one to answer to, or check on or be responsible for in the first time in my life. there is no one looking over my shoulder, building resentments from unreasonable expectations of me. That I know of.
So I just keep going and when days/weeks feel brutal, I know if I keep going, the sun will come out and life will feel sweet again and like I said, I have people I can turn to. Such a gift!