Saving Sanity

Little Debi States in 5th grade, 1965.

Little Debi States in 5th grade, 1965.

Tough topic today Girls… I say ‘Girls’ because these posts are for my feminine friends.

It does not really matter when you were born, if you are a girl. In general your culture has historically valued your gender as less than a boy. Culture, religion, society, in word and practice value women less. Even when words are used to indicate women are valued, actions prove those words are false.

It is true and unfortunate, as the innate qualities of the feminine are creative, nurturing and loving. I have found in my later years, my girlfriends have become more and more important to my sanity. Not that they weren’t before  but earlier in my life I was way too busy to pay attention.

Busy working, going to school, running a design business, and for public office and raising 5 kids alone at this point.

Busy working, going to school, running a design business, and for public office and raising 5 kids alone at this point.

I was busy with keeping 9 kids alive everyday since I gave birth, over the course of 19 years, to 9 over-intelligent daredevils, whose shenanigans still rage on. I was busy dealing with the ever-changing ideas of their father for 23 years and then the 24 hour a day challenges of being a single mother raising the aforementioned kids, who left home, one after another, eventually. And I was busy with church and then work and going back to school and actually volunteering at the library, in the schools and on the Uintah Public Lands Committee in my community and even running for public office. I didn’t make much time for girlfriends in my life. And that was a mistake.

I have had girlfriend videotape the birth of a child for me. I have gone into business with girlfriends and definitely brainstormed many business ideas with them. We share things that work in relationships, raising kids, beauty tips and all kinds of cool stuff. We also share what isn’t working. And that is invaluable in making us both feel not so alone.

Me & Shaina  & Angel & wine...

Me & Shaina & Angel & wine…

Girlfriends bring something to our lives that no one else can no matter how much others love us and we love them back. Girlfriends, with their varied experiences, bring a level of understanding and communication to our lives that we need. We NEED them. They really can help us not feel alone, more than most anyone can because girlfriends have been there and done something like that themselves and truly feel a depth of empathy we sorely need. And pretty much daily. I have a lot of girlfriends and am in touch with them in several ways and at various levels, depending on a lot of factors. I highly recommend making friends with women until you have a couple of really good friends who will save your sanity. As my girlfriends have done for me! Namaste’


About roxycross

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