For well over a year I have been trying to add meditation to my daily life. Oi. Seriously. Oi. Can I not sit still? Can I not listen to beautiful meditative music for a brief period of time every day? Can I not relax in a simple pose, feel the sun and breeze on my face and let go?
I kept working on this anti-workaholic-I-don’t-have-value-if-I’m-not-busy-American-woman thing and failing miserably. And then I got to a point where I meditated every day for 21 days using a program by Deepak Chopra and Oprah, whose names rhyme by the way. I had tried his mediation programs 3 times previously. Fail. This time I meant to succeed and I did.
Then I felt empowered to try it on my own every day. I was able to double the length of time I could be still, in pose and meditate to 1 minute. Wow. Big Whoop! There are many reasons why I really have to whip this one and make meditation a daily and some days more than daily practice. Until an ugly car wreck in 2004, I was ridiculously healthy and fit. There is no way you could look at me and either guess my age or tell I carried and gave birth to nine humans! But the car wreck happened and recovery has been a very long process and the things I deal with now are on the edge of scaring me. At 58, I am beginning to be concerned about my health I have been able to take for granted for decades and can no longer.
When my mother was 9 years older than me, she was gone. Just up and left the planet one day with no warning. It sucks. I miss her most every day still. Mom was in great health, fit, with low blood pressure, taking care of herself daily with fresh food and exercise and then gone. I would love to share stories of my kids and their kids with her. I would love for her to see me happy in my life because I surely was not happy back then. And I do not want to put my family and friends through the loss of me, if I can help it. I believe daily meditation will make a difference in my ability to handle stress in my life and lower my blood pressure and weight to acceptable levels, where they used to be before a nasty car wreck.
Recently, by working on my high school’s graduating classes 40th reunion this summer, I have been in touch with lots of people my own age. Some of us are already gone from accidents and disease and I do not want to be one of them any time soon. Life is good and I have earned to be where I am. My kids are finally grown and on their own after 36 years of raising them. It’s my turn to figure out what I want to be when I grow up and enjoy all the good things in life. I do not intend to do that on prescription medications, with a life revolving around the medical community so I have to make some more changes and they need to begin today.
So, I’m posting this here, to be accountable to someone. Since you are reading this, I’ll be accountable to you. I need help as I have not been able to do this alone. Feel free to share the things that do and do not work for you, but remember, we are working on getting my blood pressure down! Thanks for your assistance. Namaste’